Slapping friends as a compliment: A unique Russian tradition

Moscow: Friendship is expressed in many ways across cultures—handshakes, hugs, or pats on the back. However, in Russia and some Slavic countries, there exists a more intense and surprising form of camaraderie: the friendly slap. While it might sound aggressive to outsiders, this tradition is often seen as a sign of respect, affection, and a strong bond between friends.

The origins of this habit are not entirely clear, but it is deeply tied to Russian culture’s emphasis on toughness, masculinity, and unfiltered emotional expression. In Russia, friendships are often deep and intense, and displays of affection can be equally strong.

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The friendly slap—whether on the back, shoulder, or even the face—is not meant to cause harm. Instead, it serves as a way to test resilience, display mutual trust, and reinforce camaraderie. In many cases, this kind of physical gesture happens in moments of celebration, such as during drinking sessions, reunions, or after a joke among close friends.

You’re most likely to witness or experience this in informal settings—bars, gatherings, or sporting events. A hard slap on the back might be given as a gesture of encouragement, while a light slap on the face could be part of a joke or playful challenge.

This tradition is more common among men, as Russian social norms have historically emphasised stoicism and toughness in male friendships. However, women sometimes engage in similar gestures, especially in loud, celebratory environments.

For foreigners, experiencing a friendly slap from a Russian friend might come as a shock. In many Western cultures, physical gestures of friendship tend to be softer and more restrained. However, in Russia, physicality in social interactions is more common and should not be mistaken for hostility.

While it may take some getting used to, understanding this habit is key to appreciating the warmth and depth of Russian friendships. If a Russian friend gives you a firm slap on the back—congratulations! You’ve just been welcomed into their inner circle.