Struggles of infertility: How couples can combat the anxiety, depressive episodes

New Delhi: You need to be careful with your words when your partner is battling infertility. Yes, that’s right! Remember that compassion matters more than advice. Using the wrong words can hurt more than silence when your partner is facing infertility. So, choose your words wisely. This article will help you to be cautious and give vital tips about how you can ensure your partner safely navigates this problem.

Dr. Sandeep Talwar, Fertility Specialist, Nova IVF Fertility, East of Kailash, Delhi-NCR, said, "Infertility is a deeply personal and painful journey. So, it’s not just about medical treatment. When one partner is struggling to conceive, the other’s words can either bring comfort or unintentionally deepen the pain. Did you know? Well-meaning comments may sometimes backfire, making the person feel misunderstood, judged, or blamed. Instead of trying to “fix” things, what your partner may need most is empathy, space, and a listening ear. It is better to be safe than sorry. Don’t make your partner feel guilty, lonely, as he/she can become frustrated, hapless, agitated, and irritated. It can be overwhelming for the partner. It is better to clear all the doubts with an expert and help the partner to overcome infertility. Struggling in silence will only worsen the problem. So, help the partner take charge of his/her reproductive health. It is time to address reproductive health problems with an expert’s advice."

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This is how you can help your partner struggling with infertility

Just relax, don’t worry, and it will happen: Using this phrase is a strict no-no. This phrase tends to prevent the person from seeking real medical help and causes emotional difficulties due to infertility. Hence, it is necessary to seek timely attention without any delay.

Have you tried … (this treatment/diet / hack)?”The partner will feel guilty. Incompetent or shameful. He/she may feel judged. As the person tends to try many options. So, it is better to comfort the partner by saying I am with you, no matter what, let’s do this together!

“Maybe you’re just too stressed.”: Blaming stress for infertility can feel like you’re blaming the person. So, stress may not be the only root cause; it is better to know the cause of infertility with the help of an expert to be able to conceive without any problems.

“You’ve got plenty of time.” So, even this comment will prevent the partner from seeking timely help. It is advisable not to delay the treatment and just seek help. Timely help can ease the worry of the person struggling with infertility.

“At least you can relax/travel / do what you want now.”This can be hurtful and again prevent timely attention.

Adoption can be considered: Understand that adoption is a deeply personal decision.” It’s not helpful to treat it like an easy alternative. But it can offend the partner.

So, don’t pass any loose statements, be compassionate, and show love and respect to the partner. Rather than offering unsolicited advice or clichés, try asking: “How are you feeling today?” or “What can I do to support you right now?” Give space, help them validate their emotion, and allow free communication. Instead of judging the partner, be ready to offer help at every stage, and this will surely make a big difference.